The inception of technology has helped in taking many business ventures to a whole new level of mobility and flexibility but to be fair some minorities are left out, for today's focus it's the ritual money makers and as a speaker of the minority (adds to qualifications), I'll bring new and improved ways to make the money making process easy.
While preparing this write-up, I consulted a Gen-z ritual expert (babalawo is now primitive, thank you), I won't be putting their names here, they prefer anonymity (message me personally for their contact information) .Together we came up with ways to modernize the process,let's begin.
Following the popularly known steps derived from our ever trusted Yoruba movies, it all starts with consultation, but because we don't want our fans and haters seeing us tojubole (seeking traditional help), there are alternatives in form video calls, emails and the sort. Consultation provides you with numerous options to the get the money, in times of confusion and indecisiveness, we have a feedback program where past beneficiary share their accounts of success, you are welcome.
During consultation,we will find out if your problem is Ogunidile( family problem), which is most likely the case (no offense)or afowofa (as per some of you would not know you have entered fire until it starts to burn you). In the case that the client is facing Ogunidile, we will have to prepare ebo or etutu(sacrifice), that will be given to awon iya wa(if you know, you know) but the twist is that you won't need to start looking for any apata (junction) that leads to the spiritual realm, awon iya wa have upgraded, video call will do(but it's you that's buying data oo).
For the problem that is afowofa,it is a long process ( o deep gan ni),in the past, we would have asked for the tongue of an albino lion, the breast milk of a three years pregnant chicken and the teardrops of a rat on the full moon but due to the fight between our suppliers and dispatch riders, we have opted for emails but you must be ready to plead your case well, many of you would think you would not need our help with sending this emails but how will you get their email address without coming to us.
If your problem is not solved, it is not our business because if you read our reviews, you would have seen that this particular service has a 0.5% success rate, don't come back and ask for refunds( we did not use to do that one here). See let me not lie to you people, I am not writing for research work, it is one of our clients that is chasing us, his own ritual did not work and now he has found a better bablawo that is chasing us around , we need help, this fugitive life is not for everybody, chief please if you are reading this , please forgive us but you know that it is your ojukokoro that caused all this , please sir and don't forget to send the balance, a ni lati jeun ninu hiding yii. Anyways, iwaju opon,eyin opon,odabo o.
Love this😂
This is a work of art and I enjoyed every bit.
They should start looking into making room for literary pieces in museums because come on nau.