Love Chronicles…

Inspired by SDC’s Bad breakups skit featured in the Palmwine Music Album Volume 3.

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Dialing Tone…

“Your call has been forwarded to automatic voicemail. The person you are trying to reach is not available. At the tone, please record your message, when you have finished recording your message, you can hang up”

Hi, this is Michael. Shola, what's up? How are you doing, did you finally find your “tall, dark and handsome” perfect replacement? Me I know you cannot find another guy like me, anyways I don't want you back even if you beg me (delulu). I just wanted to let you know I'm going for a dating show today and I'm gonna find love, I mean duhh, it's me.

Also quick disclaimer, things about our past might come up, you know if they ask about my past relationship so… I hope you are good sha. I miss you though, you and your wahala, with your all “Mike that's sexist, you can't say that”. Call me back or not but feel free to call me. Your number is still saved as My girl, yeah but uhm yeah I'm over you and our relationship, officially found closure.

Umm bye.

Fucking stupid man!

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Host-

Welcome guys to Love Chronicles where we dig out the troubled lover boys and girls and give everyone a happy ending. On today's episode we have an amazing set of contestants, hopefully everyone makes it out alive (awkward laughter).

Just kidding.

Let's set off your love tale today, make sure you stay locked in.

( Soji cut the cameras)

INTERVIEWS( DIALOGUE)

Pp: Producer.

Co1, Co2, Co3, Co4: Contestants.

Pp: Please can you state your name, your age and what you do for a living?

Co1: I'm Michael, 29, and I'm a software engineer.

Co2: Esi Thomas, I'm 25 years old. I do a lot but right now I'm into Real estate, basically I'm a realtor.

Co3: Hi, I'm Jessy. I'm 23 years old. Uhmmn, what do I do? I'm a baby girl for life ( giggles)

Pp: No, Jessy, what do you do for work?

Co3: ooh, no, I don't do that, I don't work.

Pp: oh ok.

Co4: I'm Sesan, Seskid. I'm 30 years old and uhm I'm a Specialist in Food Logistics.

Pp: Food Logistics? How exactly does that work?

Co4: Well I'm in the business of Specialist Logistics, you know providing consumers with their desired food packages.

Pp: Ok, so you run a food logistics company, like a delivery company?

Co4: Uhm, no I don't own the company, I'm a specialist in the company.

Pp: So a delivery guy?

Co4: If that's how you understand it, yeah.

Pp: Ok…

Pp: What's a special trait you possess we should know?

Co1: ( smirks) Let's go to the bedroom and find out.

Pp: Sah?

Co1: Ma.

Pp: Wow, ok.

Pp: So, what ended your last relationship?

Co3: He was so selfish, oh my God!

Like he never thought about me and my feelings. This one time, he used money he was supposed to give me for my maintenance to fix his glasses, like WTF, what's the use of the glasses or seeing if I'm here looking like a ragged doll? ugh so annoying.

Co4: Omo that babe was a psycho, she was always looking for trouble at the wrong places, always embarrassing me. The last thing she did was the highest I could handle. Can you believe this babe beat my neighbor’s son just because he asked a question!

Pp: Ahn ahh, what did he ask her?

Co4: Uhm, he asked her why she was always coming to visit Uncle Sesan whenever his wife wasn't around.

Pp: Ehn, wait, you are married?

Co4: Yeah, kind of.

Pp: Aah!

Pp: Why are you here today and what do you hope to find?

Co1: Honestly, just vibes you know. But if it happens, it happens. Love I mean or just a connection.

Co2: I'm here for love. Definitely to find a life partner, like a husband ,if you may.

Co3: I'm here for love, obviously. I have so much love to give, you know I'm a lover girl. And I want someone that can really take care of me and accept me as I am. It's really important to find someone that understands you.

Co4: I'm here for vibes, find someone fun and carry on from there, I don't want anything serious…

Pp: Like your wife?

Co4: Omo na una sabi that one, all this things no concern me.

To be continued…

Host-

Enjoyed this episode, then do the right thing by subscribing, that way you'll get a notification when the next episode drops. Till then like, comment and share with your friends and like I said earlier hit that subscribe button. Bye.